Six items that do not determine our self-worth as believers and offer a turnaround to show where our self-worth should come from in the context of our faith.

Get Real with Yourself / 6 Things You Think Define Your Self-Worth but Don’t (Part 1)

How do you feel about yourself as a child of God? Are you comfortable with who you are in His eyes? When you think about your self-worth, you might wonder how you can create such an evaluation of yourself as a believer. Why do you feel great about yourself sometimes and not so much at others? What factors influence this, and how can your faith guide you in this process?

At first glance, it’s easy to make assumptions about self-worth as a believer. We know we feel good when we receive affirmation from others, but as people of faith, we also recognize that our true worth comes from our identity as beloved children of God. However, criticism from those around us or feelings of failure and inadequacy can still impact our self-worth and our relationship with God.

The problem is a lack of understanding of self-worth in relation to our faith. We focus too heavily on external factors and neglect the internal aspects of our self-worth as children of God. We must realize that our self-worth should come from our faith and our relationship with God, who created us in His image and loves us unconditionally.

In the following paragraphs, we will explore a few items that do not determine our self-worth as believers and offer a turnaround to show where our self-worth should come from in the context of our faith. By understanding and embracing our identity as beloved children of God, we can cultivate a healthy and positive relationship with ourselves and with God.

Getting Things Done
Knocking things off your To-Do list looks pretty impressive. The more you accomplish in a day, the better person you are, right?

The Turnaround: sure, your manager loves it when you get things done, but how much does this really matter? Instead, ask what makes you feel accomplished. You might have gotten a lot of things done, but did any of them really matter to you personally?

Your Career Path
You have a great job, and you make good money. It sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it? Or is it?

The Turnaround: Someone is always going to be impressed by a fancy title or salary with six figures or higher. But neither of these things says anything about job satisfaction. Are you feeling fulfilled? How many people stay on a job they hate or despise while wishing their life away? If not, your self-worth is going to take a hit. What matters is how much you love what you do, not how much money you make. It can be a balancing act to be able to merge the two but it’s certainly possible.

Your Platform
How many followers do you have on social media? How many times have your posts been shared, liked, or commented on? It’s very easy to think these numbers reflect our value. After all, a higher number must be a good thing rather than a lower number with no regard to the quality of these contacts, whether any of these interactions are genuine.

The Turnaround: Numbers don’t matter. Self-worth comes from how much we like what we’re saying and doing in our lives, not from what someone else thinks of our activities. When the rubber hits the road or in your time of need, where will your followers be?

Your Physical Self
It’s not uncommon for people to spend thousands of dollars on their appearance every year. Between gym memberships, yep – surgery (plastic, cosmetic or gastro), the right wardrobe, we half kill ourselves just to look younger and fitter, so we’ll be loved and respected by those around us.

The Turnaround: when you are continually trying to change how you look, you can’t help but feel like you’re not good enough. If you’re working to improve yourself, this needs to be for you, not for someone else. Remember, your attention on your health and taking care of yourself is a reflection and how much you value yourself. In other words, take care of you, for you, not for someone else.

Our Peers
Where do you think you should be right now? If you’re comparing yourself as a way to gauge where you should be in your life, you’re only going to hurt yourself.

The Turnaround: There is always going to be someone further along on her career path than you are. Your peers may already be married with kids before you even find your significant other if that’s to be. You’re always going to feel behind somewhere. Remember, this is different from using your circle of friends as motivators!! If you allow your worth to be wrapped up in these things, you will never feel like you are good enough. Instead, hit milestones at your own pace. Fully embrace who you are as you travel your path at exactly the speed best suited to you.

Your Ability to Achieve
Every time something goes right, you feel wonderful. But what happens when you fail? When you get wrapped up in thinking your ability to get it right has to do with your self-worth, you guarantee disaster with every accident or mistake.

The Turnaround: instead of thinking failure has anything and everything to do with you, accept it as a normal part of the process. Just because something went wrong doesn’t mean it has to define who you are, and it shouldn’t. Accept responsibility for the mistake and move on with a sharp reminder, but this is only one more lesson learned and nothing more.

Recognizing the signs of a preoccupation with external validation is the first step towards cultivating a healthy and positive relationship with oneself and with God. As a person of faith, understanding that one’s true value comes from their identity as a beloved child of God can help them shift their focus away from worrying about the opinions of others. By focusing on their own opinions and beliefs about their value as a child of God, they can achieve a more positive outlook and an increased sense of self-worth.

However, it’s important to acknowledge that even with a change in focus, negative self-talk can still hinder one’s progress. In such cases, turning to faith for guidance and support can be helpful. Prayerfully seeking God’s help and guidance can lead to a more positive self-image that is grounded in faith and one’s identity as a child of God. Through faith, one can overcome negative self-talk and strengthen their relationship with God.

Overall, cultivating a healthy and positive relationship with oneself and with God requires a shift in focus towards internal validation and away from external validation. Understanding one’s value as a beloved child of God is essential to this process. While negative self-talk can be a hindrance, prayerful seeking of God’s help and guidance can lead to a positive self-image and a strengthened relationship with God. Through faith, one can view the world through a positive lens and reach their full potential as a beloved child of God.


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